The Woman I Want To Be Me and Jai

A year ago, right before Mother’s Day, I had noticed a bit patch of those little purple weed flowers and I asked Logan if he’d take some pictures of me and Jai there for Mother’s Day. And I’ve been waiting an entire year for them to come back to recreate those photos. Let me tell you, taking pictures with an almost one-year-old that wasn’t walking just yet is a lot easier than an almost two-year-old who can run and is very independent! HA!

I’m currently rereading a book that is saying all the kind of encouraging words I feel that I need about motherhood. And I want to share a little truth and goodness with you today too.

I often spend time out of my day thinking about the ways I’m not living up to the kind of mother/wife/woman I could be or the kind of mother/wife/woman I want to be or the kind of mother/wife/woman I should be or the kind of mother/wife/woman that so and so is being. Those things tear me down so quickly and it’s easy to spiral into those thoughts and get stuck.

There’s a quote in the book I’m reading, “You are the Mother Your Children Need,” that really hit me so hard this last week. It was everything I needed to hear for a good kick in the pants! (this is my second time reading this book and it’s one of my favorites!!)

“The woman you want to be… the one who has within her every talent, gift, and ability to be what her children (spouse, friends, family) need? She’s already there. She is you.” I added in that little parentheses section because I know we may not all be mothers at this point in our lives, but it is still 100% applicable to you too! The possibility to be that is there and maybe we just need to try to be a little more like her every day instead of all at once.

Now that I’ve shared that I have the ability to be the kind of mother I want to be, let me tell you a little secret, I’m not even close to being that person.

Just today, I had a realization of a HUGE weakness of mine that I’ve really got to work on. I have a love and obsession with working and while that can be a good thing, I have this need to constantly be doing something! Jai wants to go outside? OK! I’ll mow the lawn, weed the flower bed, sweep the garage, etc. And how much of that time spent outside did I play with Jai and I mean really play and just have so much fun? Not enough. Don’t get me wrong, we played, but not as much as the person I’m wanting to be would. So today, I’m taking the day off from “work” while Jai is awake (can we talk about the naptime hustle?!) and I’m going to play and laugh and roll around with Jai all day and find a little bit more of that person I really want to be.

And maybe, just maybe when Logan gets home from work, I’ll try and fully soak in the moments as our family of three instead of rushing about as soon as he gets home because I can “finally” do something.

What about you? Maybe you want to laugh a little more today or go for a walk outside. Maybe you just want to read a book or write a handwritten note to your own mother. Maybe you need to unplug from social media for a bit or maybe you need to use social media to connect with someone today. How about we all try a little something new today and do one little or even TINY thing to be more like that person we want to be and how about we stop tearing ourselves down when we don’t live up to what we expect of ourselves?!




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